Abhorring Anger

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

-Gautama Buddha

 

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” 

-Marcus Aurelius

 

Anger is one of those emotions which can come easily to many.

When I consider anger, I think of it like fire. And like fire, the more you give to it, the greater it grows and can become.

I grew up pretty anger- I was always prone to putting holes in walls. Sometimes the smallest things might set it off- but one thing seemed certain; the more I allowed myself to express anger, the more often I became angry.

Inversely, as time went on and I explored meditation and finding a kind of peace within myself, the less and less often storms of anger occurred. And though my hand is scarred from the years where I did give into it, it has been a very, very long time since I have actually acted off anger.

In my experience it seems to progress from annoyance and irritation, to anger and eventually rage. This last one can be lethal to the soul. It seems that everytime I have ever found myself in a rage it feels afterwards like I had cut off a sliver or more of my own spirit.

It is an emotion which all people experience at some point or other. I have never had an encounter however where rage served to benefit me- and when on the receiving end, a time when it did not hurt in some way be it physical, mental or spiritually.

Anger seems to have two states I have noticed, the first is one most people experience; a hot anger which uses us. Very rarely will you meet someone who has the cold kind of anger, the kind that they can use.

Anger is draining- everytime I express it and allow it to take control, to channel it through my actions or words, I feel more tired afterwards. I feel stress.

Why is it that expressing happiness can cause one to feel enriched, whereas anger has such affect? It is different for everyone, but that is a question we all deserve to ask ourselves.

Do not feed your anger- you will find it a fire that you have to sacrifice yourself to feed, and it will only come to consume you when given into for long enough.

Anger is the opposite of peace, and only peaceful calm is an environment one's soul can grow and prosper in. Try growing a plant and let violence exist nearby it. Place a controlled fire by the plant, and even without touching it, the plant will eventually wither and die when close enough to the flames. Our souls act similarly.

When angry, time is your friend unless you act on that anger. Take a breath, count to ten. It is not necessarily detrimental to oneself to contemplate what has occurred to make one feel so, but it is always to act off of and express oneself because of that anger.

Forgiveness and letting go are what resolve anger. The Buddha once spoke we are shaped by our thoughts, and become what we think; and thusly, anger shapes us. Instead of molding us it rips, rends, and tears. Few find true beauty in jagged lines, many find it in the flowing curves peace can instill.

Letting go is hard- and anger can last as long as we deign it too. The longer we hold onto hurt, the more we pile tinder for those flames, but ultimately anger is like holding a hot coal; it hurts no one but ourself.

A jug fills drop by drop; I'd rather my soul be filled by cleansing water than that of vitriolic poison. Anger is all that, that is; poison to the soul.

Please do not poison yourself; it only causes the soul to wither.

Namaste.

“Anger is a brief madness.” 

-Horace

"Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity"

-Buddha

 

“It is easy to believe we are each waves and forget we are also the ocean.”
 -Jon J. Muth

 

 

 

  
            Today what is on my mind is positive thinking. I care a lot about this subject, as it seems something many sometimes forget to do, or do not do enough of. Walking with anger of any kind of negative thinking is a kind of self-inflicted personal suffering.

            Every day I wake and the first thing I say is thank you- waking with gratitude, even if you don't feel grateful is a good step toward positive thinking. There are times we definitely feel down, and can't help the stray thought from entering our mind. Kind of like we can't help it when it's cloudy and looks awful out- but we can control how we think as one instant changes to the next, and can remind ourselves to think positive. Sometimes it’s as small as wearing a smile, and even if you don't mean it, if held long enough one of two things will happen- either you will come to believe and mean it, or your mouth will get tired.

            As a martial artist I do not just fight or do kata- life itself is an expression of myself, and the real art I practice. Sometimes my day is an abject failure- nothing goes right or as I wish. Yet even then I remind myself that all good things will lead to its opposite, and all wrong things eventually lead to right.

            Two days ago I was scheduled for a job interview for one of two positions open; when I got there I had found that one position was filled, and they had no intention to hire me. The interview turned into a less than three minute conversation, and I was dismissed thereafter that they would let me know if a position opened up.

            I left feeling disappointed and down; but I took the opportunity to take an hour and spend it with my rabbi. He recommended other places I could apply at; and sent me on my way. The simple time I spent with him at the post office, putting stamps and labels on pamphlets for his synagogue cheered me greatly, and when I left I resolved to stay positive. That good things would come.

            Today I went back in the early morning, inquiring again. This time within three minutes I was in an interview. My determination and resolve, and most importantly staying positive had paid off. I got the job. Had I given up and waited, chances are I would not have.

            Sometimes it is the hardest thing we can do to keep afloat in the stormy ocean. But when we do, we know we will continue to exist. We sometimes have to work to keep positivity in your life, but I assure you that even when you force yourself to think positive when you're in a negative mood, it will vastly improve your life.

            And even when you still can't make that change in mind- talk to someone who you know cares about you. Let them know how you feel, and ask them for help. They will most likely have just the right thing to say to dispel that mood. We can go through life and live alone, but it is with others that makes life most worth living.

            Never forget that how you think affects what you do, and what you do always returns in some form eventually. That is the law of karma and balance. Stay strong, and think positive-

Good things come, that's inevitable.


 

-Namaste

"Be a soul so bright that it can cast no shadows."


Mental State While Sparring

In my 20 years of practicing martial arts, I find it important to stress before stepping into the ring, that the individuals who do must check their emotions, their background, their thoughts and opinions at where they step in, and touch gloves.

I have found that tranquility of mind is what I seek while sparring, and I do my best when I achieve it. When I stop concerning myself with their size, or skill level, how intimidating they come off, and so on, and so forth until I am not fighting them anymore- instead I am fighting something I believe to be, rather than what is.

I have found that anger is something which, while inspiring one to fight, paradoxically is the emotion which quickest saps my ability to fight most, as I pour effort and energy behind attacks where it is not needed.

When I have a clear mind, not planning the next move, not focusing on the one I just threw, save if it complements what I am about to, and ready to receive each moment as it comes, I find myself best ready not only to receive the strike, but see the confrontation overall.

I focus on my breathing, and try not to think. Thinking distracts from what we are doing, worrying about winning or losing, even if a little, in fact distracts us from focusing on each strike at a time. When we handle it one at a time, we lose the mysticism behind others speed and skill which we attribute and add to them more than actually is. 6 punches in a second seems like so much, but when you think about dealing with one strike at a time, and not the whole lot, you will find each so much easier to deal with.

My mental state is blank, and my goal is efficiency. I try not to waste movement, energy, because I never know when the more skilled, the larger or smaller, the more intelligent, wise, artist may come along, and completely clean my clock.

When fighting humility is the greatest emotion you can hold, out of any you choose to carry with you. Let it be that one, for it is with humility only we can admit our errs honestly to ourself, and begin the path to fixing them. I never got anywhere in martial arts thinking I was the best, and I've never seen a teacher worthy of respect and the title accept a student who claimed to know more. Martial arts begins and ends with respect, and likewise, it begins, ends, and can only continue if we are humble.

I avoid calling myself a master out of humility. Doubt is humble- I fear the day I consider myself a master, for I fear it can bring with it a state of mind of complacency. I never want my art to stop growing, I never want to hit a never-ending plateau, and ultimately, it is my choice to cross that plateau, or keep climbing up the mountain. I hope I am not alone.